Prevention Information

Consent

At its core, consent is permission or agreement to do something. In the context of intimate relationships, consent is agreeing to be sexual with a partner and letting them know that the sexual activity is desired. Consent is a necessary and normal part of sex and sexual relationships. It is important to seek consent before any type of touch or before escalating to a new level of intimacy. Checking in early and often builds a foundation of trust and open communication. 

Everyone should get to make choices about what they do with their body

Consent Tea Screenshot












Consent FRIES 

Consent is… 

Freely Given 

Without pressure, intimidation, or substances such as drugs or alcohol 

Reversible 

Decision can be changed by anyone at any time, regardless of previous experience or other factors 

Informed 

All relevant information is provided ahead of time (i.e. use of contraceptives and all planned activities) 

Enthusiastic 

Without obligation or expectation 

Specific 

Consenting to one action or location does not equal consent to all (i.e. going to the bedroom to make out does not equal consent for sex) 

 


Bystander Intervention

Recognizing a potentially harmful situation and responding in a way that could positively influence the outcome. 

Being prepared with known strategies for intervening is a critical step in becoming an informed bystander. The more comfortable a person is with the potential strategies, the more likely they are to use them when confronted with a situation that is or could potentially become dangerous. 

5 D’s of Bystander Intervention

Direct: Directly intervene by speaking up about the harm. Be firm and clear. 

  • Name the inappropriate behavior & confront the person causing harm 
    Keep it succinct; avoid engaging in debate 

  • “That’s disrespectful; please stop now” 

  • Prioritize safety & avoid escalating the situation 

Distract: Take an indirect approach to de-escalating the situation. Distracting the person causing harm gives the person experiencing harm a chance to move away. 

  • Speak directly to the person being harassed 

  • Ask about an unrelated topic (directions, the time, etc) 

  • Make a loud or obvious noise or “accidental” commotion (honk horn, cough loudly, spill change, etc) 

Delegate: Seek help from someone else. Assess the situation and determine the best method of intervention; delegate tasks to others around you. 

  • A good delegate has authority in the space 

  • Inform them clearly of the situation and what you’d like them to do 

  • DO NOT contact the police without explicit permission from the subject of harassment 

Delay: Once the incident has ended, check in with the person experiencing harm. This shows the individual that they, and their identities, are valued.  

  • Interact with the person experiencing harassment following the situation 

  • Ask if they’re okay & how you can support them 

  • Share resources or assistance with reporting 

  • Offer to sit with them or assist them in getting to their next destination 

Document: If another person is intervening, it can be important to document the situation. 

  • Only use if someone else is already intervening; if not, choose another D 

  • Maintain a safe distance and record landmarks and other details, including date/time 

  • ASK the person who was harassed what they would like done with the information collected; never share without their consent 

S.T.O.P

Another useful method for remembering bystander intervention strategies is the acronym S.T.O.P. (Shift Focus, Talk, Object, Partner):  

  • (S) SHIFT FOCUS: The lowest pressure option is to create a distraction to disrupt the focus of the potential victim and/ or perpetrator to allow them to get out of the problematic situation. If it is appropriate, use humor or an excuse to divert the attention of the perpetrator. This creates an opportunity for the potential victim to walk away in a non-confrontational manner. 

  • (T) TALK: Talk to the perpetrator and/or the potential victim and point out what you are observing. For instance, if drinking is involved, suggest that it might be better if everyone goes home until they are sober. This allows the perpetrator an opportunity to stop and provides the potential victim the opportunity to leave. 

  • (O) OBJECT: This strategy confronts harmful behavior directly by objecting to what is being witnessed. This response allows the potential victim to escape the situation. Use direct and assertive language. 

  • (P) PARTNER: This strategy is similar to delegation and involves seeking partners in your community who may be better equipped to step in if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Potential partners include friends, supervisors, bouncers, professors, public safety or police officers, and residence life staff. Familiarize yourself with campus and community resources and think about who you can reach out to in various settings and scenarios.

Engaging Men

In the world of intimate partner violence prevention, male-identifying and non-binary folx are often left out of the conversation or dismissed as perpetrators. We believe that bringing male voices to discussions of healthy vs toxic masculinity, the impact of pop culture in stereotypical gender roles, and shifting our culture is a key aspect of prevention work. Interpersonal violence impacts everyone and everyone has a role to play in the prevention and elimination of gender-based and sexual violence. For more information on our Engaging Men curriculum, the Men’s Engagement student committee*, or ways for your group to get involved, email bravebu@bellarmine.edu.  

*We encourage women and female-identifying students to participate on other committees to create space for male-identifying voices